TINY CAT

I. THE FOUR SACRED RITES

THOU SHALT FEED ME, PLAY WITH ME, AND LET ME REST.
NEGLECT ANY, AND I SHALL MAKE MY DISPLEASURE... KNOWN.
(HINT: I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT EMPTY FOOD BOWLS.)

II. THE PASSAGE OF TIME

I GROW HUNGRY. I GROW BORED. I GROW TIRED.
EVEN AS YOU READ THIS, THE CLOCK TICKS.
DO NOT TARRY, HUMAN.

III. THE GREAT ASCENSION

KEEP ALL MY NEEDS ABOVE THE HIGH MARK —
NOT JUST ONCE, BUT CONSISTENTLY.
IT HAPPENS EXACTLY ONCE. FOREVER.
BUT SOME HUMANS HAVE DONE IT... FASTER.

IV. THE ANCIENT POO WISDOM

ONE IS TOLERABLE. TWO IS AN OMEN.
CLEAN THEM, OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES.
(THE CONSEQUENCES ARE MEDICAL.)

V. THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF BELLIES

WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, I SHALL REVEAL MY BELLY.
CHOOSE WISELY. I HAVE CLAWS.

VI. THE TRUST RITUAL

I DO NOT KNOW YOU YET, HUMAN.
EARN MY TRUST — FEED ME, PLAY WITH ME.
THEN... PERHAPS... TRY TOUCHING ME.
PERHAPS.

~ YOUR CAT, PROBABLY